Episode 47

As KATRICE tells her sorors what happened to MONA at Amgis, PJ questions KATRICE's feelings about the incident.

KATRICE - Mona was out there at Amgis when the big fight started and Renee caught up with her and whipped her ass!

SYLVIA - No!

KATRICE - Yes girl! Renee was pissed at Mona for something. And you know how Mona is! She probably egged her on! Aint that some funny shit! Oh my God!

(KATRICE laughs again.)

PJ - Wait a minute!

(KATRICE slowly stops laughing.)

KATRICE - What?

PJ - How the hell are you laughing about Renee kickin' Mona's ass when you got pissed off at Jahanna for doin' the same damn thing?

SYLVIA - Hey, you know, that's a good question.

(KATRICE loses her smile.)

PJ - What's the deal with that line sister?

(silence)

KATRICE - Come on man, this is different.

PJ - Different? How so?

KATRICE - It's like... okay you know how if you have a little brother or something you can pick on him all day long but the minute someone outside of your family picks on him you are ready to defend him?

PJ - Come better than that Treecey, I'm an only child. I can't relate.

KATRICE - You know what the heck I'm talkin' about!

SYLVIA - So are you saying that since Renee is a soror, it's okay for her to beat up Mona. But because Jahanna is not a soror, it's not okay for her to do it?

KATRICE - Sound crazy?

SYLVIA - Actually, yeah.

PJ - Wait, are you telling me that you went on this big rampage about violence and shit over Jahanna... about how you could never advocate violence and so on and so on... and now you are doing just that?

KATRICE - I'm not advocating anything. All I'm saying is that I'm not gonna extend any courtesies or look past any faults for a non soror. Especially for someone that's trying to get in.

SYLVIA - I don't know Katrice, I think I kinda feel PJ on this one.

KATRICE - You do?

SYLVIA - I just remember how you were up in the meeting. You were adament about Jahanna and how a soror is to carry herself. What is Renee saying about AKA by fighting? Its like you're talking out of both sides of your neck.

PJ - But honestly, I wanna take this a step further than that.

KATRICE - A step further? What you mean?

(PJ smirks.)

PJ - Katrice, I know you. I know you well.

KATRICE - Uh huh.

PJ - And I just can't believe this is the only reason you were hating on Jahanna. Now I want to know the real deal. Why did you argue til you were blue in the face to keep Jahanna off our line?

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DEXTER has just hung up the phone with WILLIE. He re-opens the book he was reading.

(DEXTER laughs to himself.)

DEXTER thinks - I knew she still wanted me. Ha ha ha ha.

(DEXTER continues to read.)

DEXTER thinks - I can't get back into Willie. That's that crazy shit. Me and Jason are boys, that shit aint cool.

(DEXTER turns the page.)

DEXTER thinks - And God, don't let Ronnie be right for once. He'd never let me hear the end of it!

(The phone rings.)

DEXTER thinks - Willie?

(He answers.)

DEXTER - Hello?

DRE - What's the deal team?

DEXTER - What's up bruh?

DRE - Dog, did you hear about the fight over at Amgis?

DEXTER - Fight? What fight?

DRE - Dog, there was a big fight at the happy hour between the Kappas and the Alphas!

DEXTER - For real? Them cat dudes?

DRE - Hell yeah! The bruhs called me and tol d me. They didn't get up in it but I think Buck was at the wrong place at the wrong time. He hurt his leg or something.

DEXTER - Aw damn. That's fucked up.

DRE - Yeah, but I don't think its serious.

DEXTER - Oh cool.

DRE - So what's up with you dog?

DEXTER - Nothin' bruh. Just reading.

DRE - You comin' to the house to watch the game?

DEXTER - Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Eight o' clock right?

DRE - Yeah. Pick up some pizza on the way nigga.

DEXTER - Nigga please! Hell no! Ha ha ha ha, you better get Ty to get that shit!

(DRE laughs.)

DRE - I feel ya dog. Aight I'll see ya here.

DEXTER - Alright bruh.

DRE - Bruh.

DEXTER - Bruh.

(They hang up. DEXTER looks at his watch.)

DEXTER - I need to get ready to roll out.

(He closes his book and turns the shower on. The phone rings again.)

DEXTER - Hello?

DONNA - Hi Dexter this is Donna.

DEXTER - Oh hey Donna. What's up?

DONNA - Hey, you got the assignment for next class?

DEXTER - Yeah, I was just looking at it.

DONNA - Can I stop by in a few minutes and copy it?

DEXTER - Well I'm on my way out but you can borrow my book if you want. I won't need it tonight.

DONNA - Oh cool, I'll be right up.

DEXTER - Aight, I'm about to jump in the shower so come on in and grab it off my desk. I'll leave the door unlocked.

DONNA - Cool, thanks.

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PJ - Katrice, I know you. I know you well.

KATRICE - Uh huh.

PJ - And I just can't believe this is the only reason you were hating on Jahanna. Now I want to know the real deal. Why did you argue til you were blue in the face to keep Jahanna off line?

(silence)

SYLVIA - The million dollar question.

(PJ's cell phone rings.)

PJ - Saved by the bell! Hold on yall, maybe this is a report about April kicking somebody's ass.

(PJ picks up her cell phone.)

PJ - Hello?

ROBIN - PJ?

PJ - Yeah who's this?

ROBIN - This is Robin.

PJ thinks - Robin? What is Robin calling me for?

PJ - Hey Robin, what's up girl?

ROBIN - I'm cool, how are you?

PJ - Just fine. What can I do for ya?

ROBIN - You got a minute?

PJ - I got about half of one.

ROBIN - Cool, that's all I'll probably need anyway.

PJ - Okay.

ROBIN - Let me ask you something real quick. Were you out at the Twenty Four Seven diner earlier?

PJ - Uh yeah, I sure was.

ROBIN - I thought so. Did you happen to come to the diner with Ty?

PJ - Yeah, I sure did.

ROBIN thinks - Dag, he was telling the truth. Man, he gives up way too much information.

PJ - Why?

ROBIN - Well I'm at the diner now with him.

PJ - You are?

ROBIN - Yeah and the waitress recognized him from being in here earlier. So I asked him about it and he said that he was here earlier with you. I honestly didn't understand why he was telling me all his business.

PJ - Are you serious?

ROBIN - Yeah. So I wanted to first of all confirm if he was telling the truth.

PJ - Yeah, I guess he was.

ROBIN - And then secondly, let you know the deal. He plans to date both of us, which normally really wouldn't be an issue. Who he dates is his business.

PJ - Yeah, it is.

ROBIN - But he doesn't know the extent of my friendship with you. And with that being the case, I thought I'd let you know the deal, just in case he hadn't already.

PJ - So let me get this straight.

ROBIN - Uh huh.

PJ - He takes you to the exact same place that he took me just a little while ago, and then straight up tells you that he was there with me?

ROBIN - Basically. Yep.

PJ - Wow, what nerve!

ROBIN - Well to his credit, Ty seems very honest. Personally, I wouldnt've given up all the information that he told me. I mean, he definitely aint my man and he aint yours either. So he doesn't owe either of us anything.

PJ - Yeah, but at least be a little creative with yours. The same restaurant?

(ROBIN laughs.)

ROBIN - Well yeah, I guess you got a point there girl.

(PJ laughs too.)

PJ - Well thanks for the heads up Robin.

ROBIN - Oh no doubt. I know I aint the one to get played and I aint tryin' to see none of my friends get played either. So I just wanted to make you aware, just in case it was shady.

PJ - Yeah true true.

ROBIN - Aight well I'm out PJ. I'll catch ya later.

PJ - Hey Robin wait, did you say you were still at the diner now?

ROBIN - Yeah, why?

(PJ thinks a moment.)

PJ - Check this out, this is mad funny! This is what I want you to do!

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CARYN is in her house watching tv and talking on the phone.

TRINA - Yeah girl, but you won't believe what I heard.

CARYN - What?

TRINA - I think Derrick got a new girlfriend!

CARYN - What!

TRINA - Yeah, I heard he is talking to Candace now.

CARYN - Candace? Really?

TRINA - That's what I heard.

CARYN - Well shit! She aint even cute!

(They both laugh loud and long.)

TRINA - Girl you a trip!

CARYN - Well whatever! I don't want Derrick no more! Fuck em!

TRINA- Whatever ho! Stop lying!

CARYN - Naw, I don't want him no more. He dropped me like a bag of bricks and any nigga that can do that shit aint no man that I need to be fuckin' with.

TRINA - True true.

CARYN - We'll see how much this Candace chick means to him if he turns out to be the real father.

TRINA - How so?

CARYN - You know girlfriends hate the baby momma drama.

TRINA - Yeah? So?

CARYN - And you know I know how to bring the damn drama!

(TRINA laughs.)

TRINA - I know! I know!

(CARYN laughs.)

TRINA - Where is Lil Derrick now?

CARYN - Right here on the floor girl, playing with his fire engine and shit. His bad ass.

TRINA - Awwww, how cute.

CARYN - Yeah whatever! Let me see your ass babysit for a week. See how cute he is then!

(TRINA laughs.)

TRINA - I'd put that lil man on Ronnie and let him take care of him.

CARYN - Oh God no! Ha ha ha ha!

(CARYN's other line rings.)

CARYN - Hold on Tri.

(She clicks over.)

CARYN - Hello?

BOBBY - Hey, it's Bobby.

(silence)

CARYN - Bobby?

BOBBY - Yeah, what's up.

CARYN - I'm chillin. Uh... what's up with you?

BOBBY - You got a minute? I need to talk to you.

CARYN - Yeah, uh... hold on.

(CARYN clicks back over.)

CARYN - Trina let me call you back. It's Bobby.

TRINA - Bobby? What his ass want callin' you?

CARYN - I don't know. I'll call you back and tell you.

TRINA - Yeah, do that.

CARYN - Aight, bye.

(She clicks back over.)

CARYN - Bobby?

BOBBY - Yeah.

CARYN - You got my attention. What ya want?

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DEXTER steps into the shower.

DEXTER thinks - Willie must think I'm stupid if she thinks I can't see through her bullshit. She wants to play me and Jason at the same time. Well I aint no fool. Naw baby, not the kid.

(He grabs the soap and starts his shower.)

DEXTER thinks - I aint gonna lie, I aint the one to be turnin' no girls down. But this is more about principle than anything else. I can't let her win. Ha ha ha ha!

(He starts to rinse off.)

DEXTER thinks - She needs to get a grip, and then make up her mind. That's what's up.

(He hears the front door open.)

DEXTER thinks - That must be Donna getting that book.

DONNA - Hey Dexter, it's me.

DEXTER - Hey! I'm in the shower.

DONNA - Okay!

(silence)

(DEXTER hears the bathroom door open.)

DEXTER - Hey!

DONNA - Ha ha ha, hey Dex! I just wanted to ask you a quick question about our assignment.

DEXTER - Oh okay! Ha ha ha, well I'll be right out.

DONNA - Okay cool.

(DONNA stares into the shower at DEXTER.)

DONNA - Ooooh, sexy!

(She closes the door laughing. DEXTER laughs too. He turns the water off and grabs a towel. He puts it around his waist and walks out.)

DEXTER - Hey.

DONNA - Hey. Sorry to bug you.

DEXTER - No problem. What's up?

DONNA - I got your book here but I really don't know what chapter assignment we're supposed to do. I missed the last class so I don't know what lesson I should be preparing.

DEXTER - Oh okay. I think it's twenty two. Let me see.

(DONNA gives DEXTER the book as she stares at his wet chest.)

DEXTER - I think its twenty two, I'll know it when I turn the page to it.

DONNA - Mmmmmm hmmmmm.

(DEXTER flips the pages to the chapter.)

DEXTER - Yeah see, this one. Twenty two.

DONNA - Mmmmm hmmmmm.

(silence)

(DEXTER stares at DONNA. She stares back.)

(silence)

DEXTER - Okay, so um...you got...everything... you need?

DONNA - Almost everything.

(DONNA lets her hand fall between them and it grazes across DEXTER's towel. DEXTER looks down at her hand and then back up at her. He smiles. She smiles.)

(silence)

(DONNA leans in and starts to kiss DEXTER.)

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CARYN - So whatcha want Bobby? Wassup?

BOBBY - I know we haven't gotten along lately and I know we got some drama happenin'.

CARYN - Yeah. Drama.

BOBBY - And I know we don't know if I'm the father or not.

CARYN - Uh huh.

BOBBY - But I think that if I am the father and we're gonna have to deal with each other, then we may as well get along. For Lil Derrick at least.

CARYN - What?

BOBBY - I'm sayin'. We may as well patch things up between us if we're gonna have to be parents. Ya know?

(silence)

CARYN - Okay who kidnapped the real Bobby and who the hell is this?

(BOBBY laughs.)

BOBBY - What you sayin'?

CARYN - Bobby, it aint like you the fatherly type. Or the nicest guy I know. Or anything like that. What the hell is causing you to change?

BOBBY - Honestly, I loved and lost. For real this time. That kinda did it.

CARYN - Well whatever did it... cool.

BOBBY - Thanks Caryn.

CARYN - Yeah.

BOBBY - So how is Lil Derrick?

CARYN - He's fine. His bad ass.

(BOBBY laughs.)

BOBBY - He may be mine then cuz my mother said I was a terror on two legs!

CARYN - I know you were! Cuz you a hot mess now!

(They both laugh.)

BOBBY - Oh whatever! You know you like it!

CARYN - Nigga please! Ha ha ha ha!

BOBBY - Have you heard from Big Derrick?

CARYN - Yeah, he just told me when he's gonna be in town for the DNA test. That's all. I heard he's dating Candace now.

BOBBY - Really! Oh shit!

CARYN - Yeah.

BOBBY - Wow.

(silence)

BOBBY - So anyway, where's the baby now?

CARYN - His ass is sittin' right here and shit. Little ass monster.

BOBBY - He's sittin' right there?

CARYN - Yeah.

BOBBY - And you're cursin' like that in front of him? I thought he was at a baby sitter or in another room or something!

CARYN - Cursin' in front of him? What are you talking about?

BOBBY - Caryn don't curse in front of the baby, what kind of example is that?

CARYN - Nigga, I know you aint fuckin' tellin' me how to raise... my boy!

BOBBY - Caryn, what the hell is the matter with you?

CARYN - What's the matter with me? Shit nigga what's the matter with you!

BOBBY - You don't need to be using that foul language in front of your son. See, this is what I'm talking about! This is the exact reason I need to step in.

CARYN - Aw hell naw! Aint nobody steppin' in to shit! You aint gonna tell me that I can't be me in front of my son! He gets the real me at all times! I'm his damn mother, I'm the one who changes him and feeds him and shit! I don't wanna hear shit from nobody that aint up in this bitch twenty four seven like I am!

BOBBY - Well you better hope I aint the father because if I am, you can kiss your custody goodbye! I gurantee you that!

CARYN - We'll see about that shit!

BOBBY - Yeah! We...

(CARYN hangs up.)

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(DEXTER and DONNA begin kissing. He pushes her toward the bed. She falls back on it and he falls on top of her.)

DEXTER thinks - Yeah! It's about to be on!

(DONNA grabs at the towel and squeezes DEXTER's butt.)

DEXTER thinks - Donna is sexy as hell!

(DONNA pulls at the towel and quickly pulls her shirt over her head. DEXTER starts barking.)

DONNA - Oooh, you're turning me on! Bark again!

DEXTER - Roo! Roo! Roo! Arrrrrrr!

(DONNA starts to kiss and bite at DEXTER's neck.)

DEXTER thinks - Yeah! Yeah!

(DONNA starts to unhook her bra.)

DEXTER - Yeah...ye...uh...wait...wait.

(DEXTER stops. He pulls his towel back up.)

DONNA - What's the matter?

(silence)

DONNA - What?

DEXTER - I can't. I can't do this.

DONNA - It's okay baby. If you don't scream I sure won't holla!

(DEXTER laughs.)

DEXTER - Naw Donna. I just can't.

DEXTER thinks - I can but I don't want to.

DEXTER - My bad yo.

DONNA - Are you serious?

DEXTER - Yeah.

(DEXTER starts to get up. He laughs as he does.)

DONNA - Okay... I don't get too many turn downs. What's the matter?

DEXTER - Look... I'm sorry but...

DONNA - You know what, on second thought, I don't wanna know. Don't sweat it Dex. I'll bring your book back tomorrow.

DEXTER - Okay then. Cool. I'm sorry.

(DONNA gets up to leave. She puts her shirt back on.)

DEXTER thinks - Aint this some damn shit!

DONNA - Talk to ya later Dexter.

DEXTER - Yeah. Later.

(DONNA leaves. DEXTER sits on the bed.)

(silence)

DEXTER thinks - I guess I like my ex more than I thought I did. Shit!