Episode 33

WILLIE has come to visit her new soror THERESA.

WILLIE - Hey Theresa, have you figured out who you want to pin you?

(WILLIE smiles knowing that the obvious answer is herself.)

THERESA - Uh...yeah. I was gonna actually ask you to do it.

(THERESA thinks back to her conversation with TRINA.)

THERESA thinks - Your girl's men are off limits...always.

WILLIE - Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

(WILLIE starts clapping then she holds her hands to her face as if she's going to cry.)

WILLIE - Thank you Theresa! Oh my gosh I am so happy! Thank you so much, this means so much to me!

THERESA thinks - Your girl's men are off limits...always.

(silence)

THERESA - Actually Willie, before we get into that, there's something I need to ask you. We have something important to talk about.

WILLIE - Oh yeah? Sure, what's up?

(WILLIE sits back as to relax in conversation with THERESA. THERESA pauses before she starts.)

THERESA - Willie, you and I have been friends for a long time. A real long time.

WILLIE - Yeah, we have.

THERESA - I have been your side kick and have admired your work in student council and all that you've done.

(WILLIE leans forward now looking a little more concerned.)

WILLIE - Uh huh.

THERESA - And now we're sorors and I owe that all to you.

WILLIE - Of course but you don't have to thank me Theresa. It was something that was in you, you just didn't know it was there.

(WILLIE smiles.)

THERESA - Oh, I'm not thanking you Willie. Well not in this conversation at least. That isn't what this is about.

WILLIE - Oh. Well what is this about?

(THERESA pauses again.)

THERESA - Willie...

(THERESA stands up and walks toward the window. She starts to speak while looking out the window.)

THERESA - ...we need to talk. We never spoke about the situation with Jason.

WILLIE - What situation with Jason?

(THERESA turns around to look at WILLIE.)

THERESA - Willie, you can't honestly believe that there would be no tension by you dating Jason. Jason and I used to go together.

WILLIE - That was a long time ago Theresa. Don't tell me you're upset and jealous over that?

THERESA - Jealous? Willie this certainly aint got nothing to do with me being jealous. It's about friendship. You're not supposed to date someone that's been with your friend.

WILLIE - Who made up that rule?
THERESA - It's a silent code Willie. Women don't do that to each other.

WILLIE - First of all...

(WILLIE's demeanor changes.)

WILLIE - ...Jason wasn't even into you like that. Secondly,

THERESA - What!

WILLIE - ...you heard me, he wasn't into you and he told me that.

THERESA - Let me tell you something Willie. The only reason that Jason and I didn't stay together is because of me. If he wasn't into me, he wouldn't have tried to get back together with me twice already.

WILLIE - I knew this was gonna come up. I swear.

THERESA - You really got nerve getting upset Willie. I didn't start dating someone you cared about did I? And you're getting mad at me?
WILLIE - I think the real reason you're going through all this is because you're jealous of me and Jason and it has nothing to do with what you're saying. Why don't you just put it out there and let the chips fall where they may.

THERESA - Okay let me just put it out there then!

(THERESA puts her hands on her hips.)

THERESA - I'm fuckin' Dexter now. What!

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KATRICE is in her room and was about to take a shower. But a certain phone call has caused her to change her mind and to call her line sister PJ instead.

(KATRICE dials.)

APRIL - Hello.

KATRICE - What's wrong with you?
APRIL - I had a bad morning.

KATRICE - You aight?
APRIL - No.

KATRICE - You wanna talk?
APRIL - Naw, I'm aight.

KATRICE - You sure?

APRIL - Thanks, I'll be aight.

KATRICE - Okay. Is PJ there?
APRIL - Yeah, hold on.

(APRIL hands PJ the phone.)

PJ - Hello?

KATRICE - Hey.

PJ - Hey wassup.

KATRICE - You got a minute? I need to talk to you about something.

PJ - Yeah wassup?

KATRICE - Did you tell Jahanna to go over to Amgis to get down with sorors over there when they have a line?

PJ thinks - Shit.

PJ - Well I went over there with June. She was hanging out with me anyway so she tagged along.

KATRICE - She tagged along? PJ, how does someone tag along to an interest meeting? She didn't tag along, you took her.

PJ - So what if I did?
KATRICE - We voted her out Presjina. That's what.

PJ - No, you voted her out.

KATRICE - What?
PJ - Oh come on Katrice, you were the only one that day that had anything bad to say about Jahanna and you swayed the entire chapter to vote your way. And over what? Mona! Mona Ferguson! Jahanna does something that we all wanted to do, she kicked Mona's ass and you kept her out of the chapter for that!

KATRICE - That's right! I don't care if she kicked Mona's ass or if she kicked the devil's ass. The point is she solved that shit with her fists. Is that the kind of person you want in our chapter? Is that the kind of person you want in AKA?

PJ - Well I think you have some other kind of issue with Jahanna. Something that you aint saying. So what's the real deal Katrice?

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DEXTER is on the phone talking with his mother.

DEXTER - Yall are going where?
MRS. TURMAN - Cancun.

DEXTER - Cancun? Ha ha ha ha! You and dad never stay home now! When are yall going to Cancun.

MRS. TURMAN - July. And don't try to go with us either. We travel now because all of yall are out of the house.

DEXTER - Yeah but yall weren't travelling like this before. Why yall going now that we're all out of the house?

MRS. TURMAN - That's the whole point. Yall are gone, and now we're taking off!

(They both laugh.)

MRS. TURMAN - So how is school going for you Dexter?
DEXTER - It's fine.

MRS. TURMAN - You need anything?

DEXTER - No, I'm okay.

MRS. TURMAN - Does your sister need anything?
DEXTER - Well you can send her some stuff so I can go steal it from her. Ha ha ha!

MRS. TURMAN - Don't be silly! You know I know you better than you know yourself. I send her stuff for you to steal and then I send her stuff for her.

DEXTER - Aw! How you gonna peep my game Ma?

MRS. TURMAN - Just because I'm older doesn't mean I don't have game too.

(DEXTER laughs loud.)

DEXTER - Oh you got game Ma?

MRS. TURMAN - I sure do!

(They both laugh again.)

MRS. TURMAN - Well let me go Dexter. I'll talk to you next time sweetie.

DEXTER - Okay Ma. Don't plan to have too much fun in Cancun.

MRS. TURMAN - Oh whatever!

(They both laugh.)

MRS. TURMAN - I love you.

DEXTER - Love you too, Mom.

(They hang up. DEXTER dials again.)

KATRICE - Hello.

DEXTER - Hey it's Dex.

KATRICE - Hey, I'm on the other line. Can I call you back?
DEXTER - Well actually, I just wanted to know if you were still comin' over.

KATRICE - Oh yeah. I'm about to leave as soon as I take care of something.

(There is a knock on DEXTER's door.)

DEXTER - Okay, I'll see ya then.

KATRICE - Okay.

(They hang up and DEXTER answers the door.)

DEXTER - Hey, what are you doing here?
WILLIE - We need to talk.

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MONA has just arrived at her cousin SHARONDA's house. She knocks on the door.

SHARONDA - Hey Mona, wassup?

(MONA walks into the room passing by SHARONDA but not speaking back.)

SHARONDA - Oh girl please get over it.

(SHARONDA closes the door.)

MONA - I will not get over it! Just what do you think you're doing to Miya's mind?
SHARONDA - What?

MONA- You heard me! What's all this you've been feeding her!

SHARONDA - I didn't feed her anything Mona. She came to me with an interest in Zeta Phi Beta. I didn't go lookin for her or recruiting. She came to me.

MONA - Yeah right! I bet!

SHARONDA - No seriously. I didn't say a word to her.

MONA - Yeah right Ronda. Yeah right.

SHARONDA - Well you can believe whatever you want to believe Mona. Whatever.

MONA - Miya and I always spoke on being in Mommy's sorority. How are you gonna take that away in a mater of minutes?
SHARONDA - Mona I didn't...

MONA - I want you to leave her alone Sharonda.

SHARONDA - Mona listen, you can't live Miya's life for her. If this is the decision that she wants, then you have to let her grow up and do what she wants to do.

MONA - That's bullshit Sharonda!

SHARONDA - Will you calm down? God!
MONA - I will not calm down! This is serious!

SHARONDA - What...is it a serious matter?

(SHARONDA cracks up laughing.)

MONA - I don't get it.

(silence)

SHARONDA - Never mind Mona. Never mind.

(MONA walks over and picks up SHARONDA's phone. She dials MIYA's cell phone.)

MIYA - Hello?
MONA - Hey, where you at?
MIYA - I was just leaving school. What's up?
MONA - Me and Sharonda are getting ready to go eat at the Twenty Four Seven diner. Come eat with us.

SHARONDA thinks - We are?
MIYA - Sure!

MONA - Meet us at Ronda's house right now.

MIYA - Okay I'll hurry and be right there.

MONA - Okay see ya soon sis.

MIYA - Okay bye Mona.

(They hang up.)

SHARONDA - We're going to eat?

(MONA doesn't answer as she dials again. She covers the phone to first answer SHARONDA, then to speak to whomever she has called.)

MONA - No, we're not going anywhere! Hello? Hey come on over.

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KATRICE - Is Jahanna the kind of person you want in our chapter PJ? Is that the kind of person you want in AKA?

PJ - Well I think you have some other kind of issue with Jahanna. Something that you aint saying. So what's the real deal Katrice?

(silence)

KATRICE - PJ please. Let's not go there okay?
PJ - Go where?

(KATRICE's phone rings.)

KATRICE - Hold on.

(KATRICE clicks over.)

KATRICE - Hello.

DEXTER - Hey it's Dex.

KATRICE - Hey, I'm on the other line. Can I call you back?
DEXTER - Well actually, I just wanted to know if you were still comin' over.

KATRICE - Oh yeah. I'm about to leave as soon as I take care of something.

DEXTER - Okay, I'll see ya then.

KATRICE - Okay.

(KATRICE clicks back over.)

KATRICE - PJ?
PJ - Yeah, I'm here.

KATRICE - I don't have any issues against Jahanna personally. I think she is a cool person. But for Alpha Kappa Alpha...for my sorority, I don't think she is worthy or ready. That incident turned me off and I think under similar circumstances she'd do it again.

PJ - And I would want her to. We need someone who isn't afraid to stand up for our organization. The reason I feel Jahanna so much is because Jahanna is just like me. In a lot of ways we have a lot in common. So yes I want to kick Mona's ass. And after I kick Mona's ass, if she talks smack again, then I'll kick it again.

KATRICE - And what the hell would that solve PJ?
PJ - Nothing. It aint about solving problems. It's about kicking ass and teaching lessons.

KATRICE - Who made you Mona's mother for you to teach her lessons? PJ, you cannot dictate to sorors how they should think or act.

PJ - True, but some things are just over the line and uncalled for. Come on Katrice. I can't believe you are even on Mona's side in this.

KATRICE - This isn't about Mona's side or Mona Ferguson at all for that matter. This is about character and behavior. This is about problem resolution. And in all those areas, Jahanna sucks.

PJ thinks - Oh God! Whatever!

PJ - Katrice, we're just not gonna agree on this one.

KATRICE - Okay fine. But now where does that leave Jahanna?

PJ - Jahanna is a big girl. She can do whatever she wants to do. If she wants to go to Amgis and hook up with Akina and Renee and them, I can't stop her.

KATRICE - Yes you can stop her and you will or else.

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SHARONDA - Why in the world did you tell Miya we were going to the diner? I got food in the microwave right now!
MONA - Because we aren't going to the diner stupid! You can eat your damn food.

SHARONDA - Mona you kill me man, I swear.

(SHARONDA walks into the kitchen. MONA looks at some of the pictures on SHARONDA's shelf. She has a picture of her and her sorors, and a picture of Zetas and Sigmas at a picnic.)

MONA thinks - Oh God! How whack!

SHARONDA - You want something to eat...since you lied about going to the diner?

MONA - No and don't you dare patronize me.

SHARONDA - Mona you are officially a nut. So I'm not thinking about you. Miya is a strong little sister so she'll make up her own mind.

MONA - Yeah, whatever. We'll see.

SHARONDA - Are you sure we're related? I'm not half as crazy as you are.

MONA - Oh no? You don't remember freshman year? When you were in my room crying every day and plotting to kill somebody?

SHARONDA - That was a long time ago. And I was heartbroken. I mean, what the hell do you expect? I liked Larry a lot.

MONA - Well what about when you wanted to burn the school of communications down?

SHARONDA - I didn't deserve that grade!

MONA - Well what about the time when you...

SHARONDA - Okay okay. Stop with the examples already!

(SHARONDA takes her food out and starts to eat.)

MONA - I don't want Miya to pledge Zeta. I want her to pledge Alpha Kappa Alpha.

SHARONDA - Do you even have a good reason Mona? Give me one good reason.

MONA - Fergusons don't look good in blue.

SHARONDA - Excuse me?

(SHARONDA laughs.)

SHARONDA - How about a real reason.

MONA - Okay a real reason. Zeta Phi Beta is whack. Sorry cousin but it's the truth.

SHARONDA - What the hell are you talking about Mona? AKA is whack!
MONA - Oh whatever! You know your founders wanted to be AKAs!
SHARONDA - Uh no, I don't think so. It was Delta founders who had the identity crisis. Get your history together cousin.

MONA - Well I hate your call.

SHARONDA - And everybody hates your call!

MONA - Well at least my frat brothers are...

SHARONDA - You don't have frat brothers! The Alphas aint yall's brohters! We're the only true family! Only I have frat brothers!

MONA - Oh whatever! I don't need a document to call Bobby my frat!

(There is a knock on the door.)

SHARONDA - Is that Miya already? She got here quick!

(SHARONDA goes to open the door.)

SHARONDA thinks - Oh Lord!
MELINDA FERGUSON - Hello Sharonda.

SHARONDA - Hey Aunt Mel.

(SHARONDA hugs her aunt as she comes into the room.)

MELINDA FERGUSON - Is Miya here yet?
MONA - No Mommy but she's on the way. She should be here any minute!